Relationship Minute: Give a doorway ritual

With all the hustle and bustle of the season—parties, shopping, deadlines, activities, and more—it can be hard to take a second to slow down and connect. Can you spare six seconds?

We’re big fans of the six-second kiss but you can make any small moment of connection into a doorway ritual.

A kiss.
A compliment.
A heartfelt “I love you.”
An inside joke.
A nice warm hug.

Connect every time you cross the threshold.

Studies show that passing through a doorway makes people forget—people often mentally mark the tasks they’re holding onto mentally as “complete,” whether they mean to or not.

So with all the coming and going this time of year, it’s even more important to remember to prioritize your relationship.

Related blog posts

The Relationship Minute from The Gottman Institute, dated 5 December 2019. You can sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning. 

Relationship Minute: Halloween rituals of connection

Whether you’re dressing up in a costume today or not, Halloween is an opportunity to create rituals of connection in your relationship.

If you haven’t already, have a conversation with your partner about how you would like to celebrate. Here are some questions to get you started.

How did you celebrate Halloween in your family growing up?
What’s your favorite Halloween memory?
How do you want to celebrate Halloween in our relationship/family?

You may decide to celebrate Halloween in a traditional way by carving pumpkins together, or in your own way by watching a movie or cooking a festive meal together.

Regardless of what you do, rituals of connection are important because they build meaning in your relationship.

The Relationship Minute from The Gottman Institute, dated 31 October 2019. You can sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning. 

Marriage Minute: Halloween Rituals

Some couples get really into Halloween. If you’re one of those couples, that’s great. If you’re not, that’s okay, too.

Even if you don’t dress up as Sandy and Danny from Grease, you can still celebrate tomorrow. Holidays are an opportunity to create rituals of connection in your relationship.

In his book The Intentional Family, Bill Dougherty discusses “rituals of connection” as an important tool for successful relationships. A ritual of connection is a way of regularly turning towards your partner that can be counted on.

Instead of going to a Halloween party, you could stay in and watch the same scary movie together every year. Or you could carve pumpkins. Whatever you do, make it your “thing.”

Related blog posts

The Marriage Minute From The Gottman Institute, dated 30 October 2018. You can sign up here to get The Marriage Minute delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning.