Marriage Minute: Difference doesn’t have to be painful

Most issues in a relationship are not solvable.

These kinds of problems are generally hard-wired into the relationship by virtue of your respective personalities.

You may be an introvert while they’re an extrovert. Maybe you’re neat and they’re comfortable with messiness. Maybe you’re an atheist and they’re a person of faith.

These things are not likely to change over the lifetime of your marriage. It doesn’t make sense to try to “resolve” them.

Prioritize dialogue instead. Not simply conversation, but an actual effort to understand your partner’s point of view.

That means learning to be curious and compassionate and creative about your perpetual issues.

It means learning to accept that difference doesn’t have to be painful.

It can simply be present.

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The Marriage Minute From The Gottman Institute, dated 13 December 2018. You can sign up here to get The Marriage Minute delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning.