Relationship Minute: Choose commitment

In a relationship, commitment is a choice we make every single day, over and over again.

We choose it when we’re tired and overworked and stressed.We choose it no matter what attractive person crosses our path.

We choose it every time our partner makes a bid for attention and we put down our book, or look away from the TV, or up from our phone to acknowledge their importance in our life.

When we make our relationship a priority by showing that it’s a priority, we build trust and demonstrate our loyalty.

Related blog posts

The Relationship Minute From The Gottman Institute, dated 29 January 2019. You can sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning. 

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Relationship Minute: Mix it up

One of the biggest mistakes couples make is putting their relationship on autopilot.

So mix it up.

Research has shown that engaging in novel experiences as a couple activates the brain’s reward system.

Dr. Arthur Aron and his colleagues conducted experiments and revealed that couples who go on “exciting” and novel date nights, or engage in fun and challenging activities, have higher relationship satisfaction.

Such novel experiences release dopamine and norepinephrine, the same chemicals which are released during early romantic courtship.

The bottom line is that novelty isn’t a luxury or indulgence. It’s a necessity for a successful, happy relationship.

Related blog posts

The Relationship Minute From The Gottman Institute, dated 22 January 2019. You can sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning. 

Relationship Minute: Date Night

Have a weekly date night. And make it a priority in your relationship.

A date doesn’t need to be expensive. It doesn’t even need to cost money.

It just needs to be a specific amount of time set aside for the two of you to focus on each other and connect.

Show up, no matter what.

Where there is a will there is always a way.

Related blog posts

The Relationship Minute From The Gottman Institute, dated 17 January 2019. You can sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning. 

Relationship Minute: Kiss a Lot

There’s one simple way to keep things passionate in your relationship—kiss.

Kiss a lot.

Kiss often.

Kiss each time you leave each other, and each time you see each other again after being apart.

When you do, you tell each other that you matter. And you choose each other all over again.

Related blog posts

 

The Relationship Minute From The Gottman Institute, dated 10 January 2019. You can sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning. 

Marriage Minute: New Year’s Resolutions

Have you made New Year’s Resolutions for 2019? If not, you still have time.

According to data shared by Statista, 15% of people reported that their 2018 New Year’s Resolution was to “find love.”

Other popular New Year’s Resolutions included saving money, losing weight, and eating healthier. One goal notably absent from this list?

“Improve my relationship with my spouse/significant other.”

Setting goals to improve your relationship may not be the first thing that comes to mind at the turn of the calendar year. But being intentional about improving communication, trust, and satisfaction can yield significant positive change.

So commit to making 2019 the best year yet for your relationship.

Related blog posts

The Marriage Minute From The Gottman Institute, dated 27 December 2018. You can sign up here to get The Marriage Minute delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning. 

Marriage Minute: Difference doesn’t have to be painful

Most issues in a relationship are not solvable.

These kinds of problems are generally hard-wired into the relationship by virtue of your respective personalities.

You may be an introvert while they’re an extrovert. Maybe you’re neat and they’re comfortable with messiness. Maybe you’re an atheist and they’re a person of faith.

These things are not likely to change over the lifetime of your marriage. It doesn’t make sense to try to “resolve” them.

Prioritize dialogue instead. Not simply conversation, but an actual effort to understand your partner’s point of view.

That means learning to be curious and compassionate and creative about your perpetual issues.

It means learning to accept that difference doesn’t have to be painful.

It can simply be present.

Related blog posts

The Marriage Minute From The Gottman Institute, dated 13 December 2018. You can sign up here to get The Marriage Minute delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning. 

Marriage Minute: Listen Listen Listen

Be sure you understand what your partner is saying before responding.

When you respond, try to do so with kindness.

Treat your partner like they are someone you love.

Related blog posts

The Marriage Minute From The Gottman Institute, dated 4 December 2018. You can sign up here to get The Marriage Minute delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning.