Relationship Minute: Tell me your feelings

In healthy relationships, partners are curious about each other’s feelings.

They adopt the motto, “When you’re hurt, the world stops and I listen.”

In unhealthy relationships, on the other hand, partners tend to ignore each other’s feelings.

They think to themselves, “I don’t have time for your negativity.”

So the next time your partner is upset, ask them to share their feelings with you⁠—and just listen.

Related blog posts

The Relationship Minute from The Gottman Institute, dated 1 October 2019. You can sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning. 

Relationship Minute: The uninvited party guest

Think of a conflict discussion as a dinner party you and your partner are throwing together.

You have certain guests you want to invite (Resolution, Repair Attempts, Humor, Permission to Take a Break). Then, there’s the guest you just know will show up no matter what—Negativity.

Negativity is usually the first to arrive. They smelled something cooking, didn’t bring a beverage or a dessert, and they waste no time making themselves at home.

You and your partner exchange glances. Negativity’s shoes are off and they’re already gnawing on a drumstick (Where did that even come from?).

How can you stop Negativity from taking over the party, alienating your other guests, and telling that same old story too loud like they did last time?

Mitigate.

Set boundaries with Negativity early. Don’t let them dominate the conversation.

For every one thing Negativity says, you agree to outweigh it with five positive contributions from the rest of the group. Friendship is there, and they’re on your side.

You and your partner are in this together.

With careful cooperation, you can keep Negativity from getting out of control and overstaying their welcome—at the party and in your relationship.

Related blog posts

The Relationship Minute from The Gottman Institute, dated 17 September 2019. You can sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning. 

Specialized Training of Military Parents (STOMP) Webinar – 15 May 2019 from 4:00 – 5:00

Please join us for Specialized Training of Military Parents (STOMP) Webinar on 15 May 2019 from 4:00 – 5:00 at the Airman and Family Readiness Center EFMP classroom. Mr. Jacob Garrett, our School Liaison, and Kim Geffre will be on hand to answer any follow-up questions you may have. Please call 385-4663 to reserve your seat today. 

A&FRC Upcoming Closures

The Airman & Family Readiness Center (A&FRC) will be closing tomorrow, Thursday, September 6th, at 10:30 AM for the United Way Day of Caring.

Next week, the A&FRC will be closed all day on both Thursday, September 13th, and Friday, September 14th for staff training.

We apologize in advance for any inconvenience caused.