Relationship Minute: Choose commitment

In a relationship, commitment is a choice we make every single day, over and over again.

We choose it when we’re tired and overworked and stressed.We choose it no matter what attractive person crosses our path.

We choose it every time our partner makes a bid for attention and we put down our book, or look away from the TV, or up from our phone to acknowledge their importance in our life.

When we make our relationship a priority by showing that it’s a priority, we build trust and demonstrate our loyalty.

Related blog posts

The Relationship Minute From The Gottman Institute, dated 29 January 2019. You can sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning. 

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Relationship Minute: Mix it up

One of the biggest mistakes couples make is putting their relationship on autopilot.

So mix it up.

Research has shown that engaging in novel experiences as a couple activates the brain’s reward system.

Dr. Arthur Aron and his colleagues conducted experiments and revealed that couples who go on “exciting” and novel date nights, or engage in fun and challenging activities, have higher relationship satisfaction.

Such novel experiences release dopamine and norepinephrine, the same chemicals which are released during early romantic courtship.

The bottom line is that novelty isn’t a luxury or indulgence. It’s a necessity for a successful, happy relationship.

Related blog posts

The Relationship Minute From The Gottman Institute, dated 22 January 2019. You can sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning. 

Relationship Minute: Date Night

Have a weekly date night. And make it a priority in your relationship.

A date doesn’t need to be expensive. It doesn’t even need to cost money.

It just needs to be a specific amount of time set aside for the two of you to focus on each other and connect.

Show up, no matter what.

Where there is a will there is always a way.

Related blog posts

The Relationship Minute From The Gottman Institute, dated 17 January 2019. You can sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning. 

Relationship Minute: Kiss a Lot

There’s one simple way to keep things passionate in your relationship—kiss.

Kiss a lot.

Kiss often.

Kiss each time you leave each other, and each time you see each other again after being apart.

When you do, you tell each other that you matter. And you choose each other all over again.

Related blog posts

 

The Relationship Minute From The Gottman Institute, dated 10 January 2019. You can sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning. 

Marriage Minute: Listen Listen Listen

Be sure you understand what your partner is saying before responding.

When you respond, try to do so with kindness.

Treat your partner like they are someone you love.

Related blog posts

The Marriage Minute From The Gottman Institute, dated 4 December 2018. You can sign up here to get The Marriage Minute delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning. 

Marriage Minute: Kintsugi

Kintsugi is the Japanese tradition of restoring broken objects with gold so the cracks are illuminated, not hidden.

The belief is that the pottery is more beautiful for having been broken.

Relationships work the same way.

If we choose to embrace our struggles and repair ourselves with love, we too become more beautiful for having been broken.

This is the essence of resilience.

Related blog posts

The Marriage Minute From The Gottman Institute, dated 15 November 2018. You can sign up here to get The Marriage Minute delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning. 

Marriage Minute: We are pack animals

We are wired to connect.

After all, biologically, we are pack animals. Our need for connection is as fundamental as our need for food and water.

Aristotle asserted long ago in Politics: Man is by nature a social animal… Anyone who either cannot lead the common life or is so self-sufficient as not to need to, and therefore does not partake of society, is either a beast or a god.

New research has shown that preventing loneliness is a critical component to staying healthy, much like eating right and exercising.

Making time to connect with your partner isn’t just important for the health of your relationship—it’s an essential investment in your overall health.

Related blog posts

The Marriage Minute From The Gottman Institute, dated 8 November 2018. You can sign up here to get The Marriage Minute delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning.