Relationship Minute: Quid pro quo

Payment apps like Venmo may be harming your relationship.

According to a study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology, being a stickler for exact change in a payment app causes people to perceive you as petty and think less fondly of your relationship.

You don’t want to feel like your partner is keeping precise track of what you owe them, and vice versa.

It undermines our bond by turning a trust-based relationship into a transactional tit-for-tat relationship.

This idea of “quid pro quo” seems to operate in unhappy marriages, where each partner feels the need to keep a running tally of who has done what for whom.

Happy couples, on the other hand, just do nice things because they want to.

Related blog posts:

The Relationship Minute from The Gottman Institute, dated 23 July 2019. You can sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning. 

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