In any interaction, there is a possibility of connecting with your partner or turning away. One single moment is not that important, but if you’re consistently choosing to turn away, then trust erodes.
When this happens, you begin to focus on your partner’s flaws. You forget about their traits you admire and value.
Eventually you start making what researcher Caryl Rusbult calls “negative comparisons.” You start to compare your spouse to someone else, real or imagined, and you think, “I can do better.”
Invest in your marriage instead. Express appreciation for each other. Brag about each other’s achievements. Say “I love you” every day.
The grass isn’t greener on the other side. The grass is greener where you water it.