Marriage Minute: The Grass is Greener

In any interaction, there is a possibility of connecting with your partner or turning away. One single moment is not that important, but if you’re consistently choosing to turn away, then trust erodes.

When this happens, you begin to focus on your partner’s flaws. You forget about their traits you admire and value.

Eventually you start making what researcher Caryl Rusbult calls “negative comparisons.” You start to compare your spouse to someone else, real or imagined, and you think, “I can do better.”

Invest in your marriage instead. Express appreciation for each other. Brag about each other’s achievements. Say “I love you” every day.

The grass isn’t greener on the other side. The grass is greener where you water it.

The Marriage Minute From The Gottman Institute, dated 31 August 2017. You can sign up here to get The Marriage Minute delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning. 

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